The Headmaster
by StayClassy
Summary: Hermione Granger is currently Potions Mistress at Hogwarts. Severus Snape is Headmaster and doesn't seem to like her all that much. Why is this and why can she not stop thinking about him?     Rated M for the moment  quite fond of smut;
1. Homecoming

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters or world of Harry Potter, all credit to JK Rowling.

**A/N:** This is not following the exact storylines of the books, changes have been made eg. Snape did not die etc. Reviews are always welcome!

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><p>The sweat dripped down her forehead, the steam rose in flourishes from the brewing cauldron. A few strands of escaped hair clung to her forehead and back of her neck. Carefully she rotated the glass stirring rod counter-clockwise twelve times. Exhaling the breath she hadn't realised she had been holding, Hermione Granger stepped away from the simmering pewter cauldron and sank into the awaiting chair gratefully.<p>

Professor Hermione Granger had been living and working at Hogwarts for the two years. After completing a double Masters in Potions and Charms, she had spent three years teaching Charms and doing research at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic in France. It had been a wonderful experience living over there and the students had been both respectful and eager to learn but something always pulled her thoughts back to Hogwarts. It was there that she had met Harry and Ron and where she still considered home. It had been with delight that she had accepted Headmistress McGonagall's job offer as Potions Mistress. Of course that had been two years ago now, before she had been reacquainted with her fellow co-worker and ex potions professor Severus Snape.

When she had begun he had been given the job of Defence Against The Dark Arts, the position he had craved and in her mind, deserved for many years. Two years on he was the current Headmaster after Minerva had opted for early retirement to spend some time gardening she had stated. Hermione thought the reason was less about roses and more about a certain twinkly eyed ex-Headmaster who Minerva had been living with for the last few months.

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><p>She recalled that happy memory of apparating to the gates of Hogwarts after many a years absence. She could see the Headmistress rushing towards her, a smile on her face and arms outstretched.<p>

"My dear girl, it has been far too long" she proclaimed, wrapping her in a warm embrace.

"Headmistress I met with you last Friday for afternoon tea!"

Tutting "It's Minerva, we are co-workers now!"

"Sorry, yes, Minerva" Even after all this time, Hermione Granger felt rightly chastened by her old mentor.

The bright August sun shone down on them as they chatted amicably up the path and into the castle, discussing not much in particular and meandered toward the teacher's lounge. Assulted from all sides when she stepped through the door Hermione was overwhelmed. Embraced by many, complimented, promises of visits and drinks in The Three Broomsticks were made. All made her feel welcome bar one. Severus Snape, a scar running down his temple and finishing somewhere under his voluminous black robes he took one glance in her direction and sneered. In one second, Hermione felt like 2 feet tall.

Thankfully the noise quietened somewhat when the Headmistress stood at the front of the room. The Professors of Hogwarts shuffled into the assortment of chairs scattered across the room and Hermione stashed her suitcases in the corner and looked for an available seat. Of course the only one free was right beside Professor Snape.

'Typical' she mumbled as she sank down into it. She had obviously misjudged the depth of the chair as she was sinking deeper and deeper. Flailing about widely for a moment, a strong hand grabbed her elbow and lifted her up into a more dignified position. Startled she turned around. Professor Snape sneered again and removed his hand from her elbow; it burned where he had touched. They locked eyes for the briefest of moments and as the Headmistress cleared her throat for the first staff meeting to begin, they both turned intent on paying attention.


	2. Despair

That had been the only time Hermione had seen Severus Snape apart from meals for the next few weeks leading up to the arrival of the student body. He was ignoring her of course, every time she saw him walking toward her in the corridor he would purposefully turn and stride in the opposite direction. Even when it made him late for dinner, an hour late to be exact and she knew exactly where he had been. Stuck in a sinking stair on the second floor, he had been cursing like a sailor. Hermione had hid behind a statue giggling for a few minutes and left him there. If he was going to be an arse, so be it. When he eventually arrived at dinner that evening, he glared at her and she had the sinking feeling that he knew she had seen him and not attempted to help him. Guilt aside, that image of Snape shouting obscenities at a staircase kept her in good humour even when he pretended not to hear her requests to pass the coffee every morning for the next two weeks.

He was being damned insufferable and he knew it from that smirk he tried to hide every time he left the Great Hall. Oh how it had driven her crazy! Sauntering down to the main doors, his bottom swaying...like two cling peaches she secretly admired.

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><p>Back in present day reality, Hermione was dreading the meeting that was scheduled for tomorrow at 11am. It was the end of term Headmaster and Staff meeting. A one on one meeting that usually lasted for an hour or more and involved tea, talk and a discussion of classes and expenses for each department. She was nervous mainly due to the fact that she had not been alone with Severus Snape in nearly a year. Since becoming Headmaster, the man had shunned her. He did not offer the customary dance at the annual staff Christmas ball, he never came down and inspected the dungeons and not once had he even made pleasant chit chat with her, not even about the weather! This was a topic that could be greatly discussed with Hogwarts being situated in one of the wettest areas in Scotland.<p>

She stamped her foot in annoyance. "Damn and blast to hell" she shouted at the walls that surrounded her office. The old Victorian woman in the portrait that hung by the window muttered "How rude, you will never get a man with a mouth like that! How unbecoming in a lady" and bristled at the Potion Mistresses response, which was another rude hand gesture.

Throwing herself on the couch in her office, she massaged her temples in a vain effort to ward off an impending headache. She just did not understand the man. She had observed him around the other members of staff, she had witnessed him laugh on many occasions and they all seemed to get on exceedingly well. Compared to the Professor Snape who taught her Potions back in the pre-war years, he was a changed man, well to everyone bar her. For Merlin's Balls he even had a friendly relationship with Harry! She was in despair and she could feel her generally composed cheerful exterior begin to crack.


	3. The Gin

She allowed herself a little weep. It had been a while and she felt that she thoroughly deserved a few minutes of self-pity. What had become of her? She was a well-respected author, a visionary in the field of Potions having drawn on her talents in Charms and Runes when conducting research. Her students found her demanding but fair. She was a godmother to three children and had a wide circle of friends. Yes, she may have no man to come home to and her sex drive was a bit lifeless but that happens she reasoned. She had never wanted children, one of the reasons she had run as far away as she could from Ronald Weasley. Poor sod thought he was in love with her and her with him. A quick snog at the end of the war does not mean marriage! Thankfully he came to his senses and married dear Lavender. She had grown quite fond of the girl over the years, it probably helped that Hermione had been asked to be godmother to their first child, Ophelia.

Finally the few tears that emerged ceased and she took out the handkerchief that she carried on her always. She gazed fondly at the embroidered SS initials in the corner.

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><p>A week before the start of Hermione's first classes as Potions Mistress at Hogwarts had found her in a troubled state. Feeling a bit overwhelmed and depressed, Hermione Granger and drowned her sorrows in the bottom of a bottle of muggle Gin. Now it must be noted that the Potions Mistress is not very good at handling her drink and gin, when drunk when in as a fragile emotional state as she was in and led to her woozily wandering along the corridors of the castle attempting to find the Astronomy Tower. In the state she was in, she did not realise that she was heading in the completely wrong direction and that indeed she was being followed.<p>

Clutching the empty bottle of gin to her, Hermione had decided to take a little pit stop against the cold stone wall of the corridor. Leaning her head against it she began to cry. Mumbling incoherently she slowly sank to the cold stone floor. Hiccupping loudly she was tempted to drift off for a quick nap and then resume her search...she couldn't even remember what she was searching for. As she felt herself floating on towards a drunken slumber a voice permeated her thoughts.

"Miss Granger, this kind of behaviour is unbecoming in a Hogwarts Professor"

Slowly she opened one eye and a black shape appeared before her.

"That's Professor Granger to you dear sir" she grinned crookedly and hiccupped.

She heard a snort of amusement and felt a soft something on her cheek, what was that? Leaning into it she noticed that it was also warm. She purred. As soon as the warmth had come, it disappeared and the Potions Mistress pouted, which earned her another dark chuckle from the dark shape. She felt a set of strong arms lift her up and she felt safe although her head was spinning.

"Professor Granger, why are you clutching an empty gin bottle to your chest?"

Hermione tried to focus on that voice it seemed so familiar...

"And don't lie to me"

The gin-fuel fog cleared in Hermione's mind long enough for her to mumble "Severus?"

The next morning Hermione awoke on her couch wrapped in a blanket and accompanied with a splitting headache. On the coffee table was the empty gin bottle; clutched in her hand was a white linen handkerchief.

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><p>They had never spoken of the Gin Incident as Hermione referred to it in her head. The next morning after taking her hangover potion they had passed each other in the Great Hall and he gave no indication that anything had occurred the night before. The Potions Mistress would have believed she had been dreaming were in not for the embroidered handkerchief that currently resided in the pocket of her robes.<p>

Reminiscing finished with and the headache sufficiently warded off, Hermione decided that the thing she really needed the most right now was the company of Ginny Weasley.

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><p><strong>AN** Thank you for the reviews so far, they feed the muse!


	4. Good Friends

**A/N** This is the longest chapter I have written so far, I have changed a lot as previously mentioned. It probably won't shock, its all been done before:)

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><p>Ginevra Weasley current coach of the Holyhead Harpies and life partner of Luna Lovegood was startled from her reading with the unexpected visit of Hermione Granger. The young woman immediately put down her book and took in the dishevelled appearance of her closest friend as she emerged from the fireplace. From the stony look on Hermione's usually cheerful face, Ginny concluded that it was going to be a long afternoon and wondered if Luna had remembered to pick up that bottle of wine, it would be needed.<p>

"Hermione, what a pleasant surprise" the red-haired woman leapt up from her chair and embraced the Potions Mistress in a warm hug and led her to the couch.

"Oh I am so sorry to just barge in on you like this; I hope I am not interrupting any plans!" The sadness in Hermione's eyes alarmed Ginny and she immediately stated that no, there was nothing in her planner and both she and Luna were free for the day.

Sinking into the comfortable sofa Hermione sighed deeply. Glancing up at Ginny she noticed how happy the girl was, although there was a worried frown across her features, her eyes held a warmth and contentment that Hermione wished that she also had. It had been a surprise for many members of the Wizarding world when Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley had not married but instead after a year of dating, went their separate ways. The gossip wheels turned even more when it was revealed that two well-known war heroes had announced they had been together for the last number of years. Hermione of course had known for years before the public, being the godmother to the couples adopted daughter, Clementine and a witness at the young couples blessing ceremony.

None of that mattered now of course but she couldn't help envy her best friend just that little bit.

Finally she mumbled "Do you have any wine?"

Ginny smiled, the frown disappearing for a few minutes. Padding into the kitchen and returning a few moments later with a bottle of red wine and two glasses, she uncorked the bottle and poured each of them out a generous amount. The two young women sat comfortably in silence.

Eventually Hermione announced the reason for her visit, the main topic of conversation for the last number of months, Headmaster of Hogwarts; Severus Snape.

Taking a sip of wine, Ginny smiled into the glass. She had a sneaking suspicion of exactly what the underlying problem was but she knew that the best course of action was to guide Hermione and allow her to figure it out for herself.

"What has he done this time?"

Hermione snorted, "What hasn't he done!"

"Yes, well I know you have that meeting tomorrow and his lack of...communication has been let's say" Ginny searched for the right word, "frustrating for you."

Hermione sat up with a start, raking her fingers through her hair. The young woman was obviously very anxious and stressed.

"Ginny, he did it again! I was chatting amicably with Hagrid walking through the grounds this morning and there I see Severus walking towards us,"

Ginny nodded her head in understanding, knowing what was about to come and not wishing to point out that Hermione had started to call the Headmaster, 'Severus' these last few months instead of 'Professor Snape' or 'The Headmaster'.

Continuing with her rant, Hermione became more passionate, waving her hands about in the air.

"I could see him coming a mile away Ginny, his robes caught in the breeze, the morning sun highlighting his hair, you know he has developed a few streaks of grey don't you?" she glanced up at the girl sitting beside her.

"Yes" replied the girl, she had heard about the streaks from Hermione many weeks ago, "You also have a few grey streaks dear," Ginny pointed out.

Hermione gave her a withering glare and huffed "Yes but the less people know about that, the better! Thank Merlin for that hairdresser in Paris, those charms work wonders!"

Patting Hermione's hand encouraging, Ginny urged her to continue her story.

"Yes, well anyway he was walking towards us, those streaks giving him such a distinguished air and Hagrid call out to him, Severus comes over of course and says hello and chatted with him, ignoring me completely!" she sulked.

Ginny wanted to simultaneously burst out laughing at the sulk that was quite childish for a woman of Hermione's age and shake the silly girl for being so bloody blind, she opted for "What did Hagrid say about that?"

"Oh you know, Hagrid has seen it all before, he just made excuses for Severus and it was forgotten in the rest of the conversation.

Ginny mused on the best way to encourage her friend in the right direction and just as she was about to speak, Luna and Clementine arrived home.


	5. Revelations

"Mommy, Mommy," a head of curly blonde hair rushed at Ginny, "Guess who we saw today?"

Ginny laughed as she swept the little girl into her embrace, "Who did you see today?"

Luna carrying grocery bags smiled her greeting to Hermione and nodded to her to follow her into the kitchen. Hermione receiving the hint left the mother and her wide-eyed daughter to reacquaint themselves after a few hours apart. Carrying the wine and glasses into the kitchen she grinned at the radishes hanging from the ceiling, some things never change.

"Hermione, how are you?"

"Oh I am doing well, here let me give you a hand" Hermione rushed over to help the young blonde unpack the groceries. Her response was met with a raised eyebrow and a disbelieving look.

Luna nodded toward the empty glass of wine currently standing on the kitchen table, "Really?"

Chagrined Hermione blurted out the cause for her unannounced visit.

A dreamy and knowing smile crossed Luna's face which made Hermione feel quite uneasy.

"Well, I do believe that you will be staying for dinner" stated the blonde quite matter-of-factly.

Luna's smile grew at Hermione's huffing and puffing in her search to find an excuse not to stay for dinner. It wasn't that she didn't wish to stay with her friends but Hermione was well aware of the culinary abilities of Luna Lovegood and every night the dish being served always contained a surprise. Hermione shuddered remembering the cabbage and chocolate soup from last Christmas.

Allowing the Potions Mistress a few moments of uncomfortable shuffling, Luna eventually reassured her that Ginny was head chef tonight. Smiling apologetically, Hermione agreed to stay for dinner and kept her hands busy unpacking the last few plastic bags.

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><p>Later that evening saw the three young women laughing and listening intently with the appropriate gasps to a three year olds story about her day.<p>

"Aunty Hermy, guess who I saw today?" exclaimed the little girl, her green eyes focused intently on her godmother.

Leaning in closer and giving the girl her full attention, Hermione smiled indulgently "Who did you see today?"

Unnoticed by the two, Luna and Ginny exchanged a look across the table.

"Why Uncle Sev!" she squealed.

Hermione grimaced. She knew that Severus was Clementine's godfather and it irked her that even her best friends had a closer relationship with the Headmaster than she had.

Luna the current Head Mediwitch at St. Mungo's Hospital had made the acquaintance of Severus Snape at the end of the war. She had been training at St. Mungo's and was the personal nurse of Severus's during his 6 month stay at the institution. Hermione never knew what had bonded the two so close together but she always found it difficult to watch the easy camaraderie Severus, Luna and eventually Ginny shared whenever they were around each other. Shaking herself out of her gloomy thoughts, she tuned back into the tale her goddaughter was attempting to tell her and immediately wished she hadn't.

"He was with a lady friend" the little girl grinned, poking at the mound of mashed potatoes left on her plate.

Hermione's face fell. Her mind suddenly went blank. "A lady friend?" she stuttered.

Luna and Ginny both aware of what was about to take place, jumped from the table.

"Bedtime" chimed Ginny to her daughter.

"But...but, I'm not sleepy" pouted the little girl. "I never got to finish my story!"

"You can finish your story tomorrow" replied Ginny gently.

Tilting her head to look at her Aunty Hermy, Clementine being quite bright and perceptive for a three year old decided that maybe mummy was right. Aunty Hermy looked very sad. On her tiptoes she gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek and whispered 'goodnight' before taking her mummy's hand and being led down the hall towards her bedroom.

Luna's voice floated down the hall after her daughter "I'll be down to read you a story in 10 minutes."

Hermione barely noticed anything going on around her. In all the years she had been around Severus Snape she had never seen him with a 'lady friend' as her goddaughter put it. She had never assumed that he didn't date but she had never witnessed him around a woman he was romantically involved with. She felt a surge of emotion flood through her, tears were forming in her eyes and although she wished she could blame it on the wine she knew exactly what she was feeling having experienced it before. She knew now what she had been ignoring and running from all these years. Hermione Granger was in love with Severus Snape and at this very moment, her heart was crumbling.

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><p><strong>AN** Poor Hermione! Hope you are all enjoying it so far!


	6. The Talk

Hermione sat in silence. The sound of clinking glasses and plates being washed in the kitchen was the only sound surrounding the apartment. Lost in her own thoughts and feelings she suddenly felt very alone and wanted to get away from this place least Ginny and Luna figured out why she was so upset after their daughter's announcement about Severus. She rose out of her chair and looked around for the cloak she has discarded earlier in her rant to Ginny, finding it nowhere in sight she admitted defeat and walked into where Luna was scraping the remains of dinner into the dustbin.

"Mmmm Luna, you haven't seen my cloak about have you?" the timid sound of her voice frustrated her.

Not even glancing Hermione's way Luna shook her head "Don't even think about leaving, we are going to have a nice long talk."

The usually happy-go-lucky blonde said this so seriously that Hermione was taken aback. She had never experienced the demeanour of the Head Mediwitch before and had a feeling that this was the voice she used with troublesome patients. The sinking notion that this was not going to be the quick and easy escape she had hoped for led her back to the couch where she had began her visit. Warily she sat down, wrapping her arms about herself and glanced around at the photos that filled the countertops and walls. Her eyes lingered on the frame hanging to the left of the fireplace, waving and smiling was a picture of Ginny and Luna, Severus to their right a stern look on his face although his eyes, looking at something behind the camera, twinkled brightly holding a bundle of wispy blonde curls. Hermione had been thankful that day when her friends had allowed her to excuse herself from the picture.

She turned her head when Ginny waltzed into the room, giving Hermione a look that conveyed that she was in for a serious talking to.

"Now", the red-head announced, "We are going to discuss those feelings about Severus."

Hermione was about to open her mouth when Ginny raised her hand commanding silence.

"Let me speak Hermione, both Luna and I have listened to you for months, nay, years, complaining about Severus's treatment of you, now don't get me wrong we love you quite dearly and will always be there for you with your troubles but enough is enough. We have tried to guide you towards understanding your feelings but for a know-it-all you have seriously played dumb."

She said this part affectionately and with a small smile. Hermione was feeling rather guilty at this point so she just nodded her understanding, allowing her friend to continue.

"We guessed your feelings for Severus months ago" stated the red-head, "both Luna and I have been very patient with you but I am now going to go out on a limb here and assume that the feelings you have run from for all this time have appeared after Clementine's innocent observation."

Hermione nodded once again, not wanting to aggravate her friend who had been so kind to her. She had to admit now that she understood why she had been so devastatingly upset over Severus's treatment of her, how obvious it had been that she was in love with the man. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when respect and admiration and turned to love but she sure as hell would figure it out, of that she was certain. Roused from her musings she noticed that Luna had entered the room.

Taking a seat opposite Hermione, Luna directed her question at Ginny "Have you discussed everything yet?"

Shaking her head at her partner she continued, Hermione was starting to feel like this was less of a discussion and more of a lecture.

"I thought as much, well first off Hermione you know we care about you and we know how much you have been through especially with Krum"

The mention of that particular name earned Ginny a scowl that rivalled one from Snape in its ferociousness.

Not paying any heed to the scowling woman on the couch, Ginny maintained her speech.

"We just want you to be happy and with the lack of progress we seemed to be making in our guidance we just don't understand how you have not confronted the man already about his ill-treatment of you!"

Hermione balked at this statement. "So you don't know why he ignores me" she asked hopefully?

Both Ginny and Luna rolled their eyes at this.

"Hermione, we have told you countless times that we don't know what is wrong with Severus. You know I have attempted to discuss this topic with him but he cuts me off. At the end of the day darling, this is your battle not ours," said Luna as she settled more deeply into the chair.

Nodding unhappily, she braced herself for the answer to her next question "You don't think he knows that I...ummm...like him?"

Both heads shook, "No" they said in unison.

Ginny sat down beside Hermione and patted her hand "It's obvious to us because we spend the most time around you."

"Also you both rarely spend time around each other," Luna chimed in with a gentle smile.

Feeling only slightly relieved Hermione sighed, "What do you think I should do?"

"We thought you would never ask!" Ginny grinned.

Luna moved from her seat opposite Hermione and sat down on the other side of her.

"You still have that meeting tomorrow don't you?"

"Yes, unfortunately," Hermione replied groaning.

"Well, since you have now at least come to some realization of your feelings, you need to go back to your rooms at Hogwarts, have a good sleep and go to your meeting tomorrow with Severus and confront him about his behaviour!" Ginny stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Hermione spluttered, the notion of confronting Severus was as far from what she had in mind.

Without waiting for a response, the two girls hoisted Hermione from the coach by the arms and gently guided her towards the fireplace.

"Now, remember you are a grown woman, you are a lioness, you can do it!" encouraged Ginny, throwing Hermione's cloak over her arm.

"A good night's sleep remember, drink some warm milk before bed and eat a good breakfast before the meeting" advised Luna throwing a handful of floo powder into the grate.

Hermione was panicking, they didn't understand she wasn't the courageous young girl she used to be, she had only stopped running from her feelings, she needed to mull over them for a few months and make a reasonable and logical plan of campaign.

Shouting "Hermione's quarters, Hogwarts" Luna gently shoved her into the fireplace.

"Now don't be a stranger" yelled Ginny before Hermione felt herself spinning back to her rooms.

Stepping out of her own fireplace, Hermione grumbled to an empty room "Well fuck a duck!"


	7. Reflections

_A/N Apologies for the delayed uploading!_

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><p>Waking at 7am the next morning, Hermione wished she had taken Luna's advice about that glass of warm milk. Instead she had opted to down a tumbler of firewhiskey in an attempt to drown out the thoughts that were screaming in her head. The whiskey when mixed with the wine she had drank earlier in the evening had made for a heady combination so when she poured herself into her four poster bed, she had immediately fallen into a drunken coma. Unfortunately now the next morning the consequence of her drinking had made itself known as she massaged her temples. Flicking her wand and muttering a "<em>Lumos<em>" she noticed that she hadn't even bothered to undress and her robes were wrapped around her in a crumpled state. Sighing she hauled herself out of the bed, the flickering light illuminating her way to the bathroom. The pounding in her head continued as she stepped into the shower.

Grabbing her shampoo, she reflected on what Ginny and Luna had said. She had always respected Severus Snape for his sacrifice for the side of good, his dedication to the order during the war, his skills as an educator and researcher. Sure, she had harboured a bit of a crush on her Professor during her fourth year brought on after his rescue attempt at the end of third year, but it had been a fleeting fancy and she had dismissed this as a girlish crush. Her mind for the rest of fourth year had been taken up with worrying about Harry and flattered by the attentions of Viktor Krum. Then Voldemort had returned...leaving no time for romantic fancies. Scrubbing away at her hair she pushed thoughts of the war aside, she had learned it was not good to dwell on morbid things before a good cup of coffee and breakfast.

Morning rituals complete found the Potions Mistress downing a self-brewed hangover cure and critically examining herself in the enchanted mirror above her sink. Chocolate brown hair was tied in a sleek chignon, her set of black satin teaching robes hanging from her shoulders, the face of a grown woman frowning back and wait is that?

"No, it couldn't be" she cried moving closer to the mirror.

"Wrinkles!"

"You are not getting any younger m'dear" stated the mirror, "although those robes look quite elegant on you today."

Ignoring the mothering voice, Hermione sighed. Sometimes she wondered where all those years had gone; time passed so quickly when one's head and heart was immersed in study, work and research. All the births, weddings and funerals had blended together and for a brief moment she held regrets. Mentally shaking herself she applied her make-up quickly not wishing to linger too long in front of her reflection. She may dye her hair for the sake of vanity but she would not attempt to charm those lines of age away.

"You look lovely, good luck today" the voice of the mirror floated after Hermione as she padded out from the bathroom.

Using a charm to tidy up her bedroom, the reason she had donned her smart robes slid its way back into her thoughts; she groaned loudly, why these feelings had surfaced now after all these years, especially the night before her scheduled meeting was the fates playing mind games with her! Attempting to convince herself of the evil genius of the mystical fates, a little voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she had always known those feelings were there she had just kept herself too busy and too emotionally disconnected to notice. These disturbing thoughts followed Hermione all the way up to the Great Hall and kept her mind distracted as she nibbled her toast.

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><p>The handkerchief had remained in the Potion Mistress's pocket for a whole month before she decided to hunt Snape down and thank him for his kindness that night. Her heels clicked along the corridors of Hogwarts, her destination The Teacher's Lounge. She had been puzzled about his actions and wanted to know his reasoning. Her anger at his behaviour had grown and she admitted her interest in cultivating a friendship. He was after all a Potions Master and fiercely intelligent and witty man.<p>

About to walk into the warm fire-lit room she hesitated before the oak door, hearing murmuring voices from inside. Eavesdropping was not a practice that Hermione practiced regularly but having been friends with Fred and George Weasley had allowed the young woman to loosen her morals just a little and she stood with her ear pressed against the frame in an attempt to find out who was in there. Eventually she picked up the Scottish brogue of Minerva and the silken tone of Severus.

A few minutes of intense listening later, tears were delicately falling from Hermione's amber eyes, streaking their way down her cheeks and disappearing into her robes. The conversation that she had overheard that night changed Hermione's perspective of Severus Snape and all the anger she held towards him disappeared. It was this change that led the young woman to never confront her ex-professor about his ill-treatment of her and to bury the blossoming feelings she had begun to hold for him.

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><p><em>AN Conversation she overheard in next chapter I promise:)_


	8. By The Fire

_A/N Sorry about the cliffhanger and the shortness of the last chapter! Enjoy this one, hopefully you will understand just a little of what has occured:)_

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><p>The firelight danced across the stone walls of The Teacher's Lounge illuminating the smiling face of Headmistress Minerva McGonagall and the pensive expression of Professor Severus Snape. Both sat in matching velvet wing-back chairs and both sipping cups of tea, the sound of china clinking tinkled through the room as the Headmistress placed her empty cup and saucer on a small wooden table. A house elf appeared in a crack with another pot of fresh tea and plate of shortbread, Minerva's favourite.<p>

"Thank you Mitzi, you may go."

The female house-elf bowed and with another crack, disappeared.

The Headmistress turned her attention to her companion who was gazing at the flickering flames in the hearth. Minerva and Severus met once a week for tea and intellectual debate, discussing the latest gossip and journals. They were close friends and Minerva was worried about the younger man. Since before the new term had begun he had seemed distracted and unlike the relaxed and rested man who had emerged from St. Mungo's a few years ago now. That was the real Severus, the one both she and Albus had missed over the years, of course his biting sarcasm and sharp tongue were still quite active and his reputation as the most feared Professor at Hogwarts still safely intact. Minerva smiled to herself, an expert at hiding his true self she knew Severus kept that particular persona because he enjoyed it. He could be quite the sadist.

As she watched him, his eyes reflecting the heat of the flames, his hair: contrary to popular observation fell in silky waves about his face brushing against the scar Nagini had bestowed upon the young man, Minerva questioned her decision to bring the next topic into tonight's discussion. Severus was still fighting his own demons and she knew that he would never accept her assistance but she has talked to Albus about this and he had been adamant that the young man should talk about his problems aloud especially about this particular issue that Minerva and Albus had brushed aside in the past. Meditating on how to go about it she was startled when Severus broke the silence.

"I can sense you have something on your mind, don't spare my feelings and spit it out woman."

His eyes still stared into the flames not glancing once towards the older woman who shifted uncomfortably in her seat, a little guilty at being caught out.

"Well Severus both Albus and I are worried about you. You seem preoccupied with something lately and you know how Albus is."

This comment earned the Headmistress a smirk. Albus was a nosey old coot and everybody including the old man himself knew it.

"Minerva for all your Gryffindor brashness I do not believe that this is the topic you wished to discuss, where is the courage your House is known for?" he looked up at Minerva momentarily with a meaningful look in his eyes.

Knowing he wasn't going to share his concerns, hearing the invitation to spill her thoughts and ignoring his poke at her House, the Headmistress poured herself another cup of tea.

"I want to talk to you about her."

Her words hung in the air, the tea lay forgotten for a moment as Minerva directed her piercing gaze at her friend. His eyebrow rose slightly as he looked at the Headmistress.

"I do not believe that is any of your business Minerva, I do believe you made your opinion on that topic known a number of years ago."

"Now now Severus there is no point in beating about the bush, it's high time that we discussed this, it had been a few years now and we both regret are rash judgements."

Placing his emptied teacup on the counter, Severus pressed his fingertips together and crossed his ankles glaring at the Headmistress.

"What do you want to know Minerva? How madly in love I still am with her? How I hate myself for it? How I was meant to die on that battlefield trying to save Potter that night? How every single day I walk around this place wishing that I was somewhere else just to get away? Do you not remember how you and Albus told me to move on, forget her?"

Minerva was looking at the young man a look of pity and compassion on her face. Her eyes filled with regret at words that should never have been said.

"Don't look at me like that Minerva" he was all but shouting now, leaping from his seat and pacing before the fireplace. "And now to top it all off we now have Miss Granger here! Teaching my old position and placed beside me at breakfast, lunch and dinner! Flouncing around, a constant reminder of times I want to forget. Feelings I want to forget! Don't I deserve that? Don't I deserve peace?"

It had been at this point that outside the door Hermione Granger and turned away not hearing the remainder of the conversation.

"Why is she here Minerva?" his body highlighted by the glowing embers of the fire, his face a mask of anger, hurt and anguish.

"We know how you feel Severus," she replied, "You need her just as much as she needs you."

"I need no one," sneered the Professor.

"Oh Severus, you most certainly do."

The fire cast a shadow across the face of Severus Snape and for a brief moment a look of longing crossed his features to be replaced but a second later by a mask of pure rage.

"Don't try and lecture me Minerva, you are no longer my teacher and a change of attitude is years too late."

He stormed out of the room leaving the Headmistress alone shaking her head and a wiping a tear from under her glasses. It was three long weeks before Severus Snape returned for their usual discussions over tea and biscuits and the topic of Hermione Granger was never brought up again.

The Potions Mistress had returned to her room that night still clutching the handkerchief forever believing the lie Severus had told Harry through his memories that night on the battlefield a lifetime ago; that he wasn't still in love with Lilly Potter or ever had been never crossed her mind.

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><p><em>AN Thanks for all the reviews much love! More flashbacks and realisations to come and lets not forget that meeting with Severus! Eek!  
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